Like many children, growing up I was bullied. I can’t really remember a time in school where I had some respite from it – but I was well aware I wasn’t the only one and unfortunately for many, that isn’t always the case. Being bullied can put you in a lonely place where you feel you have no voice and ou are alone, because you feel speaking out and standing up causes you more problems than it is worth. But that isn’t the case.
Regardless of my personal experience of bullying, I find it one of the most awful and disgusting traits of a human, if they can be that type of person they feel the need to hurt someone else. I find no time for that and I don’t think anyone else should either. These type of people don’t deserve the time of day or the kindness that anyone has to offer. I guess that’s why they often mix with their own kind though.
In many ways, I wish I could get through to these people and make them take a good hard look at themselves. To see what it is like to be on the other end of their nasty remarks, their unnecessary punches and to be the butt of every joke they know. I want to let them see how unintelligent it makes them seem, how low, self centred and pathetic they really are and how meaningless they are making their life.
I often wonder to myself if an event in their life will ever make them reevaluate everything and realise the error of their ways. One day, I believe something unfortunate will happen and when they turn around to see who is there for them, in their time of need – because of their antics, they will be alone. That is so sad they’ve done that to themselves.
Still to this day I get remarks made towards me and it may be because I seem an easy target. Without sounding brash, I’m a kind, caring person. I genuinely wouldn’t hurt someone’s feeling purposefully – yet people feel that I am a suitable target for just that. Nowadays though I laugh to myself and let them seethe in the frustration that all their energy has been wasted on me. I am no longer an easy target like I obviously was in school.
Back then, I did keep quiet. I probably was an easy target. It was a scary time. I remember key events, like being beaten up in the playground for standing too close to “their” wall. Having my head battered along the ridges of the old school radiator as I went to assembly because I wouldn’t go to the back of the queue and let “them” go first. Having my packed lunch contents thrown in the bin, just because “they” felt like it and on a separate occasion coming to get it to find it scattered all over the room where packed lunches were kept, just because they knew it was mine. Not to mention spending every break and lunch largely on my own, stood as far to the edge of the playground as I could as to not bring myself any attention. And that was just junior school. When you’re young and you’re a victim of this kind of behaviour. It is hard to stand up tall, to fight back. To say no more.
I’m lucky compared to many. The treatment I received was nothing compared to what some people go through. I never ended up in hospital, I never ended up with serious cuts or damage to my body and it never forced me to move school – but I learnt to keep myself to myself. I stayed out the way, with my head down. I found the hiding places, learnt the tricks like staying a bit later in order to avoid certain situations. I hurried home, taking a quieter route if necessary, and stayed there. I didn’t go out. I didn’t really have friends to socialise with anyway. I taught myself how to get one better of each and every one of them without getting in to a fight I know I wouldn’t have ever won, I was always too weak.
If there is one thing I would say to any victim though, it would be to stand up, to speak out, because someone out there can help you. You don’t have to be alone. You don’t have to be lonely. No one in this world is better than you. Anyone who thinks they are, are truly mistaken. Always remember that these bullies, all they have going for them is an ability to be cruel. Not exactly something you would put on your CV. They are jealous of you in some way or another. It may not be obvious, but they are. It could be your hairstyle, your bag, your clothes, your car, your house…even your family life. But there will be something. They want to make you feel low so they think they look better than you. Something they aren’t and by their behaviour never will be.
Don’t tolerate it. Don’t let it happen if you see it or know about it. Stand up, say no more and less people will have to suffer.